Hyperemesis:Advice for Fathers

How Best to Help - as a Father

It is usual for a mother to look to a father for support so your response to her and her illness will have a great effect. Reliable and consistent help is greatly required. Keep reading to see some tips and suggestions especially for fathers, to help her through this difficult time:

 

 

 

 

• Encourage her to be as active as possible but bear in mind that she will need to rest frequently. You can help her do any exercises which health professionals have recommended and try out comfort products that ease the pain of muscle loss. Encourage her to take sufficient bed rest.
• Hire as much help as needed. Examples of this include house cleaning, childcare and cooking. Try to pick the tasks which you find it hard to do or fit into your schedule.
• If you can, contact family and friends who are close to her. Try to educate them on her illness and ask what they can do to help out. Even a weekly phone call is better than nothing and will hopefully cheer her up a bit.
• Even if you are frustrated with the situation, try not to verbalize these frustrations in a way which will make her feel guilty. That will only create stress for you both. It is important to talk about your feelings and try to find ways of coping and making things easier without straining your relationship.
• If you are finding it hard to cope, you should seek professional counselling. This is a sign of courage, not one of weakness. Severe morning sickness can be a very stressful and sometimes overwhelming condition and the professionals will be able to help.
• Look for foods she can eat and prepare them for her as soon as she feels she wants some. Preparing food can increase nausea and creates an aversion to the food itself.
• Try to eliminate triggers of her nausea and vomiting by avoiding foods she finds intolerable. Eat foods that don't have much odor or eat odorous ones away from the house.
• Think of something different to do each week to add some enjoyment to her life, such as brief outings, picking out baby names or a special at-home date night. She can become very depressed with HG. If she is ill during the holidays, try to find other ways she can participate in the festivities.
• If you have other children at home, try to keep life normal by keeping the focus off mom being ill. Tell them she will be well again soon. If they become moody or withdrawn, you might need to contact a child psychologist for advice.
• If she wants to cry or become angry as a coping mechanism, offer understanding and suggestions. Recognize and accept her emotions, which are either negatively or positively caused by her illness, the support she is getting and her sensitivity to the hormonal changes to do with the pregnancy.
• Getting her out of the house for a while is a good idea and will treat her to a change of scene. You might just go to a friend's house, the baby store or for a stroll around the park.
• Prepare the children's food.. Make it easy so she can rest as much as necessary without having to spend time in the kitchen.
• Ask her how you can help. Open communication is important and she should feel able to ask you anything.
• Be aware that intimacy is going to be hard or impossible for some time. Don't make any comments which might make her feel pressured or guilty.
• Check that she is receiving effective treatment and the health professional is treating her individual symptoms. If you are not happy with the care she is receiving, find another doctor.
• Learn more about signs of depression, both during pregnancy and after the birth. She is at a higher risk of depression if her symptoms last for more than half the pregnancy or are severe. Make sure help is available to her if needed.